


I Will Not Say Goodbye

by shelovestoship



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Trixie Decker & Mazikeen Friendship, kinda angsty, season 4 finale spoliers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 23:38:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18788590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shelovestoship/pseuds/shelovestoship
Summary: It’s been four years.She should have moved on.She can’t.She doesn't want to.She loves him, even after all this time.





	1. Too Much

“Is there any way to go to hell without dying?” she asks Maze one day after too many glasses of wine.

It’s been four years.

“Maybe,” the demon responds.

Chloe smiles and wonders how the idea of hell now is her fondest wish. It’s been so long. She should have moved on.

She can’t.

She doesn't _want_ to.

She loves him too much. Even after all this time.

 


	2. Not Yet

“You wouldn't be dead,” Amenadiel tells her. “But you wouldn't be able to leave. So in a sense, you would be.”

“But no hell loop? No torture?”

Amenadiel smiles as they watch six-year-old Charlie on the playground. “You’re one of God’s miracles Chloe. And even if you weren’t, Lucifer would never let any of his demons near you.”

“No,” she says with a smile. “He’d prefer torture me himself.”

“He’ll be angry at me.” Amenadiel didn’t seem too bothered by the prospect. “Linda too. It’s one hell of a thing to ask.”

“Pun intended?” She snarks. She sometimes wonders if it’s Lucifer influence, even after years without him. 

“Will I age? Die?” she wonders. It doesn't matter, whatever time she’ll have with him will be worth it.

“I don’t know.” At least he’s being honest.

“Will you tell him? I'm coming?”

Amenadiel shakes his head. 

“I can’t go yet,” she says, thinking of Trixi.


	3. Out of Time

_Amenadiel_ , she thinks, as the blood flows out of her. So much blood. But he’s too far away. He can’t stop time any longer. She’s going to die before he can take her.

 _Please God_ , she prays, _let me go to hell_.

She almost laughs because she’s never prayed. Not even when she’s known for almost a decade that there were a heaven and a hell. She’s prayed to Lucifer a few times if pray was the right word. And now that she is, she's praying to go to hell. But she can't help it.

_Please, let me see Lucifer again._


	4. Perfect Nightmare

When she wakes up it’s to birds singing and a soft breeze coming through the curtains of what she decides is a cute little cottage. For a moment, she thinks it's a dream. She dreamt dying. She’s actually on vacation or something.

Then the horror sets in.

Because this isn’t earth. Or hell.

It’s her worst nightmare.

Heaven.

“No,” she whispers.

She's trapped here, forever separated from him, in the place he can never go.


	5. Frozen Yogurt?

Outside her cottage is a perfect world. There are children playing with adorable puppies, a group of angels hovering over a _Frozen Yogurt_ shop. Flowers and smiling people everywhere.

She thinks she might break down and cry but somehow she can’t. Maybe you can’t cry in heaven.

Maybe it’s the yogurt shop.

It reminds her of something. A TV show Lucifer spoke of long ago.

And suddenly she’s laughing.

“Lucifer,” she shouts trying to be angry but so happy she just can’t be. "Show yourself."


	6. Don't You Like It?

“Don’t you like it Detective?” he says from behind her. “I considered putting you in the precinct because I know that’s probably where you’d end up hanging out if you’d-”

She doesn't let him finish, instead, she throws himself into his arms, kissing him with a decade of longing. With all the desperation, sadness, love and regret of their separation.

When the kiss is over, the pretty world is no more.

They’re in a room of black stone. She doesn't care about that much though. Because she can’t stop looking at him.

He’s just the same, same suit, same smirk. He looks like he did on that balcony so long ago. She knows she dosen't, not quite, but also that it doesn't matter.

“I missed you Detective,” he says, caressing her face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the fake "heaven" was Lucifer's idea of a little joke, as he is the King of Hell, I figure he can conjure whatever he wants. And Lucifer is Lucifer...  
> (The Yogurt Shop is, of course, a reference to The Good Place, which is an amazing show too.)


	7. Loss

“Chloe Decker were many things in life,” the priest says. “A mother, a wife, a friend and a detective with the LAPD. Her life was cut short but she will always live on in our hearts and in the kingdom of our heavenly father.”

Maze snorts, quietly, wondering what the priest would think if he knew he was the one holding the funeral for the Queen of Hell.

The delicious irony was the only reason she was here. 

Well, that and Trixie. 

She’s all grown up now, but she’s still Chloe’s child. Maze has, by watching Charlie grow, learned more about what being a parent and being a child means to humans. She knows this is a loss that the little human will feel for a long time.


	8. Just Happy

“Don’t cry,” she tells Trixie after the funeral is over and they're back in Trixie's apartment. “Your mother is fine.”

“Because she’s in heaven?” Trixie says, looking out the window. “I’m not a kid anymore Maze.”

“No,” Maze says, still a little shocked at how stupid Chloe’s offspring can be sometimes. “Your mother isn’t in heaven Trixie.”

The girl frowns, reminding Maze of the little confused _thing_ she once was. Time is such a funny thing here on earth and humans change so much as it pass.

“She’s gone to be with Lucifer,” Maze explains. “She’s the Queen of Hell now.”

“You’re crazy,” Trixie says but smiles. “But I like the idea.”

Maze decides not to point out it’s not an idea, it’s fact. Amenadiel told her. He wasn’t sure how it had happened, but near he could figure, Chloe had been meant to go to heaven but had wished for hell. In doing so, she’d found a loophole of sorts. She’d chosen to go of her free will, to be with Lucifer, and thus, hell was her heaven in a sort of weird twist.

“What do you think they’re doing? In hell,” Trixie asks, a little joking maybe, but Maze answers honestly.

“Having lots of sex.” Trixie grins and Maze is pleased she’s made her forget about her sadness for a bit.

“Won’t they get bored with that?”

“Maybe in a decade,” Maze decides. “They’ll probably go back to playing detective then. They liked that and we got some strange stuff going on down there too. Lots of mysteries they could be investigating.”

"Yeah?"

“Yeah. Mostly though,” Maze says in a strangely human way, “I think they’re just happy.”

*

*

*

**END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just loved season 4 even if the ending broke my little Deckerstar heart! Hopefully, we'll get a season 5 and if we don't, it was an amazing show and ending and we'll always have fan fiction right? Please leave a comment and like if you enjoyed this fic and/or PM if you just want to chat about the awesomeness that is Lucifer!


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